So I'm in a reflective mood, and this first post of 2018 is very different to my usual posts. In fact, I’ve been wondering for some time whether to write about this. Because you see, this one isn’t about career lessons, or business lessons, but life lessons. It's about life, and death, and resilience, and hope.
But I figured that my work is all about helping people find a meaningful career and life which allows to them to be the best and most authentic version of who they really are. And being authentic means that life isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes we’re tested to our limits.
2017 was an incredibly difficult year on a personal level. My coaching business was and continues to be a bright spot, a welcome distraction, and my clients have been an inspiration. You guys know who you are, and I think you’re all amazing!
But I’ve been faced with an ongoing challenge: How do you give your best to your career or your business, when your personal life is falling apart?
So I’ll share what was really going on (but it’s a bit sad, so if you’re going through a hard time at the moment and want to save this for later, then please do and also have a big virtual hug from me ((( )))
2017 was basically a crash course in grief and loss.
In March, my partner and I lost our very wanted IVF baby during pregnancy to a genetic disorder called Edwards’ Syndrome. Then in October, we lost my dear Uncle to suicide. In November we decided to try again with IVF but it failed.
Grief changes you as a person, but you also learn a lot. About yourself, about your relationships, and about what really matters.
Life has generally been a work in progress since then, and I continue to be surprised by the ups and downs of grief. You think you’re doing better for a while, and then something comes along to trigger you or remind you, and you’re back again at square one.
I don’t have all the answers yet, but I plan to continue sharing the lessons I’m learning about resilience during the course of 2018, because I know I’m not the only one who has faced this dilemma of balancing work and personal challenges.
And don’t worry there will be plenty of practical career tips and inspiration too, my next posts will be more cheerful!
I’ll finish my post today with a quote from Dr Julia Samuel. Again it doesn’t really have anything to do with careers or business, but everything to do with grief and loss and how to carry on. It has helped me tremendously in recent months, and if it helps anyone else reading this today then that can only be a good thing:
“You don’t forget the person who’s gone; you can never do that, and you should not worry that you’re going to. But you fold them, and their loss, into the new person you become; and maybe that, in the end, is the greatest tribute any of us can ever make to someone who has died.”
Happy 2018 my lovely readers, and hold your loved ones close this year, nothing else matters more than that.
p.s If anything I’ve mentioned here today has affected you personally and you need some support, there are some amazing charities that I have been involved with and can vouch for. Email them, call them, lean on them, that’s what they’re there for: